A thoughtful pause for the Demise of the (never shipped rev. of the) Microsoft Office Assistant that some called Nazi Pup

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2015/09/08 13:57 +00:00, original URI: http://www.siao2.com/2015/09/08/8770668856267197198.aspx


Just for the record, I'm not claiming that it was a conspiracy really.

It just turned out that the various animations and looks in various directions and ways to point in various directions at different things that so many might have found to be endearing caused some responsible program managers I respect to feel genuine concern.

Most refused to acknowledge that there was a problem, as those in denial often dig in their heels.

Until one day, one of those responsible program managers sent a specific ActiveX script to someone at Microsoft PR.

Super Pup was neutered within days. And neutered with extreme prejudice, if you catch my drift.

It was my pleasure to be able to help in the small way that I was able to.

The bulk of the rest of this blog post is cobbled together VB and VBSript pieces of code that cannot run unless you have a lot of references you can't have and have a bunch of stuff installed that won't recreate the problem.

Instead, I am going to rely on your memory of the Office Assistant and your imagination of what it might have been able to do if certain steps hadn't been taken to assure the neutering of Super^H^H^H^H^H Nazi Pup....

char.play "Acknowledge ' acknowledges something char.play "Alert" ' looks alert char.play "Blink" ' blinks char.play "Confused" ' looks confused char.play "Decline" ' declines something char.play "DontRecognize" ' looks like he doesn't recognize something char.play "Hearing_1" ' looks like he is listening (left) char.play "Hearing_2" ' looks like he is listening (right) char.play "Hearing_3" ' looks like he is listening (both sides) char.play "Hearing_4" ' looks like he is listening char.play "Pleased" ' looks pleased char.play "Sad" ' looks sad char.play "Surprised" ' looks surprised char.play "Uncertain" ' looks uncertain

and

char.play "GestureUp" 'Gestures Up char.play "GestureRight" 'Gestures Right char.play "GestureLeft" 'Gestures Left char.play "GestureDown" 'Gestures Down char.play "Explain" 'Explains Something char.play "GetAttention" 'Gets the users attention char.play "Greet" 'Greets the User char.play "Announce" 'Announces something char.play "Congratulate_1" 'Congratulates user char.play "Congratulate_2" 'Congratulates user char.play "DoMagic1" 'Does Magic char.play "DoMagic2" 'Does Magic char.play "StartListening" 'Starts Listening char.play "StopListening" 'Stops Listening char.play "Think" 'Makes him look like he is thinking char.play "Blink" 'Makes him blink his eyes

and

char.play "LookDown" 'Looks Down char.play "LookDownBlink" 'Looks and Blinks char.play "LookDownReturn" 'Stops looking and returns to rest pose char.play "LookUp" 'Looks Up char.play "LookUpBlink" 'Looks and Blinks char.play "LookUpReturn" 'Stops looking and returns to rest pose char.play "LookRight" 'Looks to the Right char.play "LookRightBlink" 'Looks and Blinks char.play "LookRightReturn" Stops looking and returns to rest pose char.play "LookLeft" 'Looks to the Left char.play "LookLeftBlink" 'Looks and Blinks char.play "LookLeftReturn" 'Stops looking and returns to rest

Never underestimate the power of Microsoft PR (Public Relations), much greater overall than the power of Microsoft HR (Human Resources) and Microsoft LCA (Legal and Corporate Affairs).

Or the power of a really effective animation created by a very creative program manager with a little help from a wily lowly contract developer with some might say too time on his hands.

And now you too know the story, thanks to the expiration of NDAs of former contract developers.... ;-)


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