The hair affair (or lack thereof)

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2010/10/25 07:01 -04:00, original URI:

Nothing Technical Whatsoever....

I have had a strange relationship with my hair for most of my life.

It has always been curly, and I have always hated that fact.

After as much pressure as a stubborn and smart-ass of a young child can apply to the situation, it was determined by the stylist at the beauty salon my mom went to that if I kept it reasonably short that I could comb it straight, parted on the left (my left).

then, as the hair got longer, it would start to have waves. And those waves would threaten to move into full-flown curls. I would then have to get it cut before that happened.

For many years, this was the way things were.

Then one day in I think the Eighth grade, it was a costume party kind of a day. I decided to go as "a white Michael Jackson" and my costume consisted of my hair (that was too long and in need of a cut) left curly, sunglasses, some sequins, and some greasy stuff in my hair (his hair always looked greasy).

I wasn't a huge fan, but my musical tastes were bizarre compared to my friends and I figured everyone would recognize him.

Actually, everyone assumed I got a perm.

As if!

Anyway, the next day everything was washed out of the hair but I decided not combing it straight was easier since it involved no special work.

And then, the new way things were for my hair was the curl.

Which I hated, but I hated dealing with it more.

Eventually I gave up on the curl, which was an unstable situation anyway (since I hated it), and settled on just combing it straight back and getting it cut regularly.

As a small aside, for a brief period in my late 20's I started dating the girl who was cutting my hair, and those fourteen weeks can be thought of as the Golden Age of my hair, as it is the only time in my life I used product and my hair has never looked as good, before or since.

When we broke up, I stopped with the product and reverted back to combing my hair straight back.

I kept waiting for my hairline to recede, as I was warned that was a natural consequence of combing my hair back tightly and consistently and since I did not know the definition of "tight" in this context i assumed my follicular days might be limited.

But the hairline never did manage to recede, and the hair stayed in its holding pattern of needing to get cut every 6-8 weeks to have a hope of staying straight.

And then there was a costume party for Halloween 2010.

This past weekend, in fact.

Realizing that the options for realistic costumes involving wheelchairs are limited and not being too fond of Mike Myers, I decided to consider going as Professor Charles Xavier (Professor X) of X-Men fame.

You know, the guy Patrick Stewart played in the movies.

Friend Holly (whose husband also happens to bald in real life) and friend Dave (who is bald in real life) and friend Ellen (who was going with me to the party) all asked whether I planned to a) wear a bald cap, or b) shave my hair off.

I was leaning toward the bald cap but everyone seemed disappointed by this answer

As I started toying with choosing the other option, all three of them seemed excited. And a little surprised.

Too surprised. I started wondering if people were playing one of those little jokes.

Asking the question a bit wider and getting only one negative response (a friend who has less hair than a full head who claimed he did the same thing once and it never grew back -- he may have been joking) out of ten, I decided to risk it.

I asked over at Gene Juarez whether they could do this, and they said they did not have razors to do the 100% job, but they could use clippers with no attachments and get it very very close.

Appointment for Friday afternoon.

And Ellen agreeing to help me touch it all up with a razor for whatever I couldn't get to well, on Saturday afternoon.

And the party in Los Angeles on Saturday night.

The plan was set..

Memories of how rough I had been with my head in the past (including a fight of sorts with a family room table) came to mind, unbidden. And I wondered what might be underneath all that hair.

I decided to hang on to the bald cap as a backup in case something really unsightly was under there.

But now with so many knowing about it I knew I was going to go through with it.

And I did!

We went to the party at Hollywood Castel (last minute unfortunate venue change but the party was still pretty wild), with me as professor X and Ellen as Storm.

About half the people paying attention to costumes guessed mine correctly, though I had not really done enough with the Picardian take on the demeanor. I decide I could improve that on future runs with the costume (I have at least three more Halloween parties between now and November 1st!).

I may talk about other party details some other day. Perhaps though I should not do that....

I touched up the hair last night (Sunday) keeping it shaven, and probably will keep doing so at least through the 1st of November and all the parties.

Though I suspect I won't keep it up forever; it seems like yet another unstable situation as it is a lot of work to keep it up, and really I like my hair best when I don't have to do anything.

But for the next week or so, I'll be keeping it bald. Maybe longer if the response between now and then is as good as it was for the party (adjusted from Los Angeles to Seattle, of course!)....

John Cowan on 25 Oct 2010 10:48 AM:

Put a bowl on your head and whack off anything left exposed.

Michael S. Kaplan on 25 Oct 2010 11:34 AM:

Ears are important to hang on to, I should think....

John Cowan on 26 Nov 2010 11:46 AM:

Picky, picky, picky.  Use a bigger bowl, then.

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