Everything's different now?

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2010/02/08 15:01 -05:00, original URI: http://blogs.msdn.com/b/michkap/archive/2010/02/08/9960046.aspx


This blog is so hideously off-topic that it makes most of the previous off-topic blogs seem on-topic.

If this bothers you then you may want to ask yourself why you are continuing to read it....

I realized something this weekend.

How I realized this, and the circumstances, who I was with, what I was doing, where I was, and so forth is, while of supreme importance to me for a whole host of reasons I shant ever be getting into, of no relevance to you, the person reading it. So it is going to be left unsaid.

What I realized is that I am in a wheelchair and that I am handicapped.

Now one would think I would have realized this the first time I received a handicapped parking permit in Hartford 16 years ago (I remember the pass very well, it was green) or at some other milestone after that when a situation bopped me over the head with the simple fact that I am handicapped.

But for these past few decades people have been accommodating in so many circumstances (the high point of accommodation was when four bouncers in Dublin picked up me an my 70lb scooter so  I could see a concert and go to the after party, then carried me back down after) that I often don't have to think about it.

Now of course being in an iBot is technically being in a wheelchair, but it is such a cool wheelchair that people largely tend to forget it is one until later. Like my own personal little reality distortion field. One where people always:

The girl I am going out with is kind of bored with these three points by now which kind of makes me bored with them too (just in the natural process of wanting to keep her interested in stuff!).

And I know that she responds better to kisses when I am in balance mode (on 2 wheels) and slightly extended so she doesn't have to kiss a guy who is a few inches shorter than her. Maybe it is a subconscious thing, she claims there is no difference there though it seems like something different to me (though from my point of view any height works, even the scooter!).

Anyway, the moment.

It wasn't anything like when blind Tom Sullivan saved the life of his daughter who had fallen into the pool when no one else was home, or anything even close to that useful to anyone else. But it was a pretty darn pivotal moment for me personally.

I am in a wheelchair.

I'm handicapped.

And like the title says, everything is different now. Or is it? I can't even tell yet if everything changes just because the viewpoint changes.

I'll let you know....

#thatisall


John Cowan on 8 Feb 2010 10:21 PM:

I have the realization that I'm a diabetic and will be on diabetic drugs/diet/regime for the rest of my life quite frequently.  Once, apparently, is not enough.

Brad on 9 Feb 2010 10:13 AM:

Hey

Long time reader first time commenter

First, welcome to the club (name badges are on the table to your right), I too am in a chair and have been for the entire of my existence. Despite that existence having spanned 20 years, it's only in the last few that I've come to terms with my disability.

If my experience is any sort of indication, you'll make repeated realizations until you've realized for each context in which being in a chair has an effect on your life.

Thanks for the awesome blog

CrippledSmurf

John Cowan on 26 Nov 2010 4:49 PM:

Hopefully I'll have bariatric surgery within 6 months.  We'll see.

Michael S. Kaplan on 16 Apr 2011 7:06 AM:

Wondering what happened with the surgery John...


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