Romancing Segoe, aka You've Got Mangal, aka Sansless in Seattle, aka Iskoola Pota with the Vampire

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2007/07/06 09:01 -04:00, original URI:

(Does anyone not think that the word "Sansless" is freaking hilarious, like The La Trattoria in Mickey Blue Eyes?!?) 

Ok, font joke of the day, which was constructed by yours truly (Michael Kaplan) and Carolyn Parsons:

Q - Why did


   Times New Roman


go out with


  Courier New




A - He wanted to be more Open and was dating against Type.


Q - Why did


   Times New Roman 


eventually break up with 


  Courier New




A - She was way too Fixed in her ways, and really had no sense of Proportion.


{Insert groan here}


Unsurprisingly, the Fall 2007 Fox Sitcom (Dating Against Type, the endearing comedy of a bunch of young fonts learning about life and love and smooth clean lines and parents suggesting they practice "sans" sex) was cancelled when studio execs heard rumors about this kind of humor being the cornerstone of the series.

Maybe if the pitch had been clips like this they would have gone for it:

Or the other version:

On the other hand, this is Fox we're talking about.... 

I wonder whether either of these two videos can legitimately be considered font rage? :-)


This post brought to you by (U+a0d5, a.k.a. YI SYLLABLE FOX)

KTamas on 6 Jul 2007 12:02 PM:

Okay, that jokes were like... wrong. Very, very wrong.

I smiled >.>

Serif Sam on 6 Jul 2007 1:35 PM:

Courier New, we’ll miss her.

I guess it all started with her employer IBM. Sure they made her, but cast her into the public domain, where with no trademarkable name she soon fell into disrepute.

She loved sport, started out hawking golf balls, loved baseball and famously threw out the fixed-pitch at a minor league ballgame.

With Times New Roman, an older man, I guess it was never going to work out. Courier kept mono-spacing in the middle of conversations. She tried to change but his command-line wasn’t appreciated. When she was replaced by a new font, nothing could console her.

Cheers, Sam

Michael S. Kaplan on 6 Jul 2007 9:45 PM:

I have no words....

Oh yeah, when that happens you need to do something with a bunny and a pancake, right? :-)

Adam on 7 Jul 2007 7:33 AM:

*groan* :)

Reminds me of the 1990 IOCCC winner for "best layout" -

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