Could it BE any clearer that it isn't the Limonata?

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2007/05/24 00:33 -04:00, original URI:

(Nothing technical here, I promise!) 

Sometimes, the truth of a situation is subtle. It takes a whole lot of evidence to figure it out.

And other times, it is so obvious that you wonder why you didn't notice it in the first place....

Start with the fact that where I used to exercise (running) I stopped several years ago, around the time that I started using a cane. Okay, I guess that was about ten years ago.

Add to that they I stopped walking for the most part much more recently.

There is the fact that I am getting older. I can't make fun of my sister for being all old and such since I am nearly two years older than her. That much close to forty than she is, too.

Factor in that my weight is the same as it was when I was 24. Despite the fact that I was in much better shape then. The muscle/fat balance has clearly been shifting, even though it is not yet shifting the scale. The pants are the same but some of them have a tiny bit of a muffin top thing going. Which if you don't know what I mean I am not going to explain.

Then there is the cases of Limonata I just ordered. Aside from the odd extravagant meal I have, it is really the only thing different about my diet. I probably eat closer to healthy now than any other time since I was 18.

And finally, there is that Slimquick commercial. You know, the one with the cartoon figure of the woman and the man are there and she is saying

My husband quit drinking soda and lost 12 pounds I quit and lost one.

My husband quit eating subs and lost 15 pounds, and I quit eating bread 2 years ago!

My husband took up jogging....

Now enough already, what do you want to weigh ZERO?!?

You know that one?

So, to sum up....

I could blame the age.

Or the lack of exercise.

Or the recent even less exercise since I have the scooter.

Or could stopping the Pro Club membership be an overt act that would affect anything even though I stopped going six months before that? Why not?

Or I could blame the Limonata.

Frankly, I've decided that although The Nile is a river in Egypt that it has a tributary flowing through Redmond, WA. And I will stay by the banks of that river until I gain 12 pounds, like the cartoon husband in the Slimquick commercial. Because he is smiling when she is all mad at him. And because I love the Limonata, and I'd rather just blame some combination of the age thing and the [lack of] exercise thing, since I could try and do something about the latter even if the former is outside of my control....

There is an off chance the exercise might help fix the problem even if it really is due to Limonata.

But it isn't.

I'm really sure that it isn't.

Stop looking at the stack of cases of Limonata, dammit!

It is not the Limonata.


This post brought to you by(U+2635, a.k.a. TRIGRAM FOR WATER)

# jon on 24 May 2007 3:20 AM:

Limonata has a lot of sugar in it though :)

# Michael S. Kaplan on 24 May 2007 10:42 AM:

Very true, jon.

But it's still not the Limonata. :-)

# Mihai on 24 May 2007 12:17 PM:

Now, the answer is out there for a long time. And also matches the international character of your blog.

So, here it is:


The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you like. It's speaking English that kills you.


You are right, is not the Limonata :-)

Please consider a donation to keep this archive running, maintained and free of advertising.
Donate €20 or more to receive an offline copy of the whole archive including all images.

go to newer or older post, or back to index or month or day