SIAO -- where lies become truth!

by Michael S. Kaplan, published on 2006/01/10 20:31 -05:00, original URI:

Hugh just posted about the Top Ten Blogger Lies.

Maybe they are lies when some people say these things, but I am struck by how true the statements all are, to me at least....

Here is the list. Hugh's comments are struck out gray and mine are RED.

1. I don't consider myself an A-Lister.

No, but I turn up for speaking gigs at all the big conferences anyway. Uh-huh.

I am an expert in an area with a very narrow draw and definitely do not think I am on the blogger A-List.

2. I don't care about traffic.

Of course I don't. Even though I'm a freelance consultant, and my blog is my primary way of marketing myself. Rock on.

I do not freelance and I am not a consultant. And I can't imagine anyone hiring me based on this blog who I would truly be happy working for. Sorry!

3. I've read your blog.

Yeah, well I read the "Musings of an unemployed tech consultant" bit on the title bar, before clicking off. That counts.

When I say I have read it, I have. It is too easy to get caught in that lie so it is much better not to tell it. It is not embarrassing to not have read it yet. :-)

4. I started blogging back in 1999.

Of course, back in 1999 a Flash-animated, brochureware homepage was considered a blog. Kinda sorta.

I wouldn't say this since I wasn't. Easy.

5. My blog has no commercial agenda.

I'm far too sexy to care about money. Exactly.

I am in no way sexy but I make no money off this blog anyway -- so commercial interests here are generally not mine. :-)

6. I only have advertising on my blog as an experiment.

That explains why the adstrip is right under the "Musings of an unemployed tech consultant" bit. Indeed.

No ads here, at least nothing I make money off of....

7. I've never liked the unegalitarian term, "A-Lister".

Even though I am one. Oh, the irony.

Well, I am not one (see #1), and I think the term is fine if you are someone everyone reads. Rock on!

8. I'm proud to be a D-Lister.

Even though I spend 7 hours a day writing the thing. Right.

Well, I don't spend that many hours a day --  I actually do not spend too much time at all. It's probably why the quality is what it is. Not sure I know the "D-Lister criteria" to know if that is something I'd say, though....

9. He's a big hero of mine.

He's got more traffic than downtown Mexico City and I'm hoping to God he links to me one day.

I am flattered when people like Raymond Chen or Larry Osterman link to me, but they were heroes of mine long before I blogged so that's no great shakes. But I don't say it to get links; its better if they link to stuff that interests them!

10. I really admire what she's doing for the blogosphere.

I've noticed that she's currently single.

I link to several different women but I cannot imagine ever using that as a way to meet people. This applies to Betsy, Michele, SuzanneJessica, Sara, Kate, Laura, Gretchen, Julie, Suzanne (the other Suzanne!), Kimberly, and any other blog I subscribe to that is written by someone who happens to be female. I don't judge according to split-tail-edness. :-)

On a side note, my only ever relationship that came out of anything online crashed and burned hard enough that if "she is currently single" then it ain't gonna get me trying to affect that status....

It might just be me, but it looks like I can make (and mostly have made!) every one of these statements and not lied to say any of them.

So welcome to Sorting It All Out, where lies come to rehabilitate themselves!

# Lucky on 11 Jan 2006 1:53 AM:

I think these satements are true

# Universalis on 11 Jan 2006 6:20 AM:

Off-topic entirely, but I've just noticed:

Is "Objects in mirrior" in your Disclaimer a deliberate joke or a mipsrint?

Or perhaps a test of your readers' peripheral vision? A friend of mine (a translator) used to proof-read his text under MSDOS by holding down the PageDown key and letting the pages flash before his eyes: in the fraction of a second that each page lasted, there was no time to read anything... but a misspelt word would jump out at him.

PS - you may enjoy the link in the "My URL" field.


Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this posting are not necessarily those of the author.

# Michael S. Kaplan on 11 Jan 2006 12:13 PM:

Hi Universalis --

Just a typo that no one ever noticed.... :-)

# Gene on 13 Jan 2006 6:24 PM:

> but a misspelt word would jump out at him

Interesting! I thought I was the only one to do this. I have some sort of built-in spellchecker. If I see a page, then instantly any spelling errors jump out at me in bold.

l33t-sp34k drives me nuts, even though I think it's funny. So do people in AIM that can't type and/or spell... enough that I won't talk to them.

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